The New Toaster: Prologue

Eric Smellick was finally buying a new toaster. For many people, this would be a routine task, but Eric was enjoying every minute of it. He had hated the old toaster with a passion, but it hadn't given him the pleasure of destroying it; it had exploded instead, leaving him with nothing to do but pick up the pieces. And the explosion, he was sure, was a blaze of glory for the toaster, as it took the last two Toaster Scrambles with it, and left a huge scorch mark in his kitchen.
But none of that mattered. What mattered was that the new toaster was coming, and it would be better. It would be a kind, just toaster, existing only to please its master, instead of to cause him pain and anguish. The trick would be getting such a toaster for under 25 bucks. But Eric was up to the challenge. He entered the department store.