TNT: Ch. 9

Rob Bluntz was Silver Moose of the Order of Floobel, a powerful position among the Followers of the Whey. It meant he was next in line to be gold Moose, which was the highest position in the order of Floobel, the second highest among the order. It was a good position, but at some point everything had gone wrong. Currently, he was standing at a crossroads outside Wheatsfield, Illinois, trying to consult the Sacred Lobster of Bune-Doom, whom he had been carrying in a special lobster satchel (The Blessed Lobster Satchel of the Everlasting Fish, Cheesecake Forever Be with Him). It had stopped indicating a direction, which either meant he was at the right spot, or the lobster was hungry. The problem was that Rob had run out of Holy Lobster Food and to feed the Sacred Lobster anything else was blasphemy. Of course, he had the authority to bless lobster food, but he needed running water and a goat to sacrifice.
It was just as he was debating this that he got hit in the head by a toaster and knocked out cold. The lobster wriggled out of the satchel and scuttled off.