Saturday, December 16, 2006

MDS Ch. 2 - Awaiting the Other Shoe

Thanks to my parents, I spent the next few weeks in constant dread. Every time I went outside or got near a window, I found myself cringing or searching the sky for dragons. My sister caught on eventually, and she started orchestrating escalatingly complex schemes to freak me out. By six weeks after my birthday, my mood could only be described as high-strung.

When I wasn’t freaking out about the whole dragon angle, I was getting considerably more spooked by the whole husband angle. Mother had begun trying to set me up with various promising princes and knights, and it was awful. We had nothing whatsoever to talk about. I remember one time, I was invited to spend the night in a nearby castle to get better acquainted with the kingdom’s sole heir, Prince Steven.

I arrived that night, scared to death. Normally I would talk my apprehensions out with Jarrod, but for some reason I felt like this was a topic I didn’t want to share with him. My mother had assured me we would be a “superb match,” but I didn’t share her enthusiasm. For one thing, he was two years my senior. For another at the few functions we had attended he had either ignored or teased me so I didn’t know what to expect. I gathered that this was not entirely parent orchestrated – that he had expressed an interest in seeing me.

I arrived in the castle and, after an awkward chat with some servants and about 15 minutes of waiting, he arrived, down the stairs in a horrifyingly regal outfit. I myself was dressed modestly, forbidden to dress down anymore and frightened to dress up anymore.

“Madison,” he said, “How long has it been?”

I wracked my brain. “Three years?”

“Too long. I meant to attend your little celebration a few weeks ago, but there were affairs of state.” He flicked his hand at the air, as if dispelling any affairs of state that might still be hanging around. “Anyway, consider this an apology. I’ve arranged for a fantastic dinner. Are you hungry?”

I had been, but now I was mostly just horrified and amused by Steven’s incredible pretentiousness.

“Starving,” I lied and flashed him a smile. That was probably a mistake.

Over dinner, my fears of us having nothing to talk about were assuaged. I had mistakenly imagined I would be given the opportunity to talk. Steven, however, was perfectly happy to do all the talking himself. Eventually I tuned him out. I noticed a sudden break in his monologue and returned to reality to find him staring into my eyes.

Not having been following the monologue I wasn’t sure what I could say to break the creepy spell, but luckily Steven solved the problem for me.

“Tim was right. You have become very beautiful.”

I wanted to laugh. His cheesiness, his pretension, it was ridiculous – as if by getting his servants to set up the right environment and learning the right script, he could simply sweep me off my feet. Tim! Prince Timothy had been at my party. I could see it now, the guys sitting around the fire, shooting the breeze. “So how was that party, Tim?” “It was OK, some hot chicks there.” “It’s the same old princesses right?” “Yeah, but some of them are growing up and filling out. You should have seen the birthday girl, herself.”

I shook my head. I had dressed up so much that day. He must have been disappointed to see me walk in looking like this. But evidently he decided to go through with it anyway.

“Thanks,” I said, “You’re very kind.”

I had an epiphany at that moment. All the awkward and scared would go away, I realized, as long as I kept the humor of the whole thing in my mind. From then on I treated all my “dates” as a big joke. I didn’t laugh outwardly, but I laughed inwardly and delighted in telling Bri, Horizon, and Jenny all about it afterwards.

Bri, predictably enough, was condescending.

“Madison,” she said once, “When are you going to start taking yourself seriously as a future monarch? You should be really looking for a husband, instead of finding ways to make fun of every boy who expresses an interest. I’d die for as many offers as you get.”

Bri considered me to be prettier than her and she wouldn’t let it go. She was very worried about the slim offerings and was currently trying to get herself captured by a dragon. However, her kingdom was not exceptionally wealthy; in fact there were rumors that there was hardly any money in their treasury at all. Evidently the local dragons had heard the rumors. I knew that the differences in the size of our treasury were also of more interest to the princes than the discrepancy in our appearances.

“But they’re all so ridiculous. I’m 16. I don’t want to get married!”

“Except to a stable boy,” mumbled Jenny.

“At least I can talk to him. At least he sees something in me besides a bag of gold with breasts!”

“These princes aren’t all so bad,” said Horizon, “There’s at least one makes me wish I was in this game.” Horizon’s case was a little different than ours. In her kingdom, the hand of the princess was won in a tournament of strength that would be held on her 17th birthday. If a dragon kidnapped her, it didn’t necessarily mean anything for her marital status. And if she flirted with a prince, it was just that- flirting.

“You’ve got your eye on somebody Rizzy?” I asked.

“Maybe…”

“Oh, who is it?” I asked.

“Not that it matters, but do dish,” said Bri.

“Actually, I’ve been doing some reading, and political unions aren’t unheard of in Eefratap,” said Jenny. “There’s historical precedent.”

Horizon raised her eyebrows at this. We all looked at her expectantly.

“Prince Ryan, from Huggria. His family was at our castle for some kind of trade agreement or something and we, uh, well…”

“Snuck off for a bit?” scoffed Bri.

“You could say that,” she said, giggling. And that was all we could get out of her. That was how it was – I had my Jarrod, though Rizzy and Bri thought me silly, Rizzy had her Ryan, Bri frantically tried to attract a royal eye, and Jenny just didn’t seem to care. If asked, she’d simply say “Oh, I’m sure someone will find a man for me somehow.” It was almost sad, how resigned she was about the whole thing. On the other hand, she wasn’t having a heart attack every time her sister made a growling noise.

Things with Jarrod had been slowly returning to something like normal. At my birthday party he had decided to become my suitor as well as my friend, but once he realized that it was distancing us, he toned it down. It was good, I needed a Jarrod I could talk to and count on. Eventually he found out about the suitors. One day my mother insisted I entertain a young man (I can’t even remember who) and the man was rather insistent we go riding. (He’d heard I was fond of it and was trying to cater to my interests. This is ironic because I’m really not too crazy about riding. I did it a lot because it gave me an excuse to see Jarrod.)

Anyway, we did go riding together and Jarrod was there, being all servanty and it was awkward. That night I went to see him.

“Oh,” he said when I walked in, “Hi Madison. I was just cleaning up and getting ready to head home.”

“Oh,” I said.

There was a pregnant pause.

“So who was your friend today?”

“Just somebody,” I said. “My mother basically set it up.”

“Of course.”

“She’s actually done it several times now. I’ve been meaning to tell you about it.”

“You sweet on one of those princes?” he asked, as if he didn’t much care.

“No, Jarrod, I’m not sweet on them,” I said hotly. “I have to see them and be courted by them. It’s not something I’d choose.”

“So why keep it from me?” he snapped back.

“I don’t know, because I figured you’d be like this?”

“Good job,” he said dryly, “You’re like a prophet or something. I’m going home.”

In spite of myself I started to sob.

“Jarrod!” I cried as he stepped through the doorframe. “Don’t do this. I need you to be here for me now. I hate all this boy stuff. Don’t be part of it, please. I couldn’t handle that.”

He came back over and held me in his arms. It was the hug of a friend, but it was something more and we both knew it. I told him everything, the suitors, the dragon, the whole bit and from then on he was a close friend again. I was sort of jogging my brain for a way Jarrod and I could be together, but it seemed impossible. Looking back, I guess I liked him as an idea more than as an actual potential. I could compare the princes I dated and the knights I had occasion to meet to Jarrod, and then feel justified in disparaging them.

A few weeks after my party I received an invitation to the wedding of Princess Opal and the knight who’d rescued her. We all went and had a grand time, but watching the two of them unnerved me. There was excitement and happiness, but nothing of love. They both seemed to be playing a part. Horizon and I caught up with Opal in the washroom. She was crying.

“What’s wrong, honey?” asked Rizzy.

“I just… I don’t even know him. He killed that dragon and rescued me and it was exciting and then he asked for my hand and of course I said yes and it seemed like it would all work out, but… What if he’s stupid, or he doesn’t want kids, or he wants too many kids! What if - ”

“There, there,” we said, and convinced her she was just getting cold feet and being an apprehensive bride, but I was shaken. I had been holding onto the dragon method as a hope – that the knights would be altogether a better batch then the princes, but Opal had called this into question. After all, why should they be? Why should the ability to kill things make one a good husband? I was beginning to realize that there was no answer to a question like that.

1 comment:

Evey said...

I say ability to kill something is a negative husband point for me :P
I want to meet her and be her friend. Please? and Jarrod is perfect. Such a loser boy. Just say how you feel already! dont be silly.