House Cleaning

Ok, it's time to straighten this place up. First off: reports on Stories

Do I Dare Remember?: Consider Nate's update canon. Or don't. Bottom line: I have no plans to finish the story at this time. I had no ending in mind, no ending came to mind, and unless a mind-bogglingly good one comes up, I will not be finishing this story.

Mortimer: I will be finishing this one, and I hope to make it shorter than Toaster significantly.

The New Toaster: It's been so long, even I don't remember things and I'm sure you all don't. So I'm going to spend today recapping and begin updating in earnest after that.

Sci-Fi Story: Last November, I participated in NaNoWriMo and created an unfinished 22,000 word sci-fi story. I can start posting it here in chunks, or not, but I'd like to know what you (my readers if I still have any) want.

Stand Alone Stories: Expect to see more of these, as brevity is a skill I'm currently trying to hone.

Poetry: Someone told me today that I'm good at poetry. Would you like to find out? I've always wanted to write a sonnet or an epic.

So, now, the TNT recap (or as far as I get into it):

Ch. Prologue: We are introduced to Eric Smellick, and the fact that he's buying a new toaster, because his old toaster had exploded. Eric first rants about a just, kind toaster.

Ch. 1: Eric asks Vlad to find him a good, just toaster, and Vlad says that none exist. Eric's fiery wrath draws Vlad into his quest and they leave, Vlad telling Jack to cover for him.

Ch. 2: We learn of Vlad's verbacious nature and his Norwegian background. We also learn why he's called Vlad despite being Norwegian. Eric realizes he needs a place to go and turns in desperation to the box his old toaster came in, and they head to Wheatsfield.

Ch. 3: Vlad and Eric pick up a cute hitchiker on the way to Wheatsfield, and Eric, not wanting too much alone time with Vlad, convinces her to come to Wheatsfield instead of Broadway. Her name is Annette, but you (and Eric and Vlad) can call her Gina.

Intermezzo: Jonah tries to cover up for a glitch resulting from his complete lack of story planning, while nothing important happens.

Ch. 4: Eric has an epiphany and, to quote CJ, a "sudden arboreal stop." (That is to say, he crashes everyone into a tree. What was I thinking?)

Ch. 5: Gina and Vlad arrive in Wheatsfield via Ambulance. Gina decides to stay with Vlad, even though she doesn't need to.

Ch. 6: Eric's insurance companies are realistically unhelpful, so the car just gets towed to a junkyard. Eric rides along and, while in the junkyard, has a schizophrenic confrontation with his old toaster, which he ultimately drop kicks into the air. He heads off to the hospital, while Hank and Jeb make snide remarks.

Ch. 7: Gina pretends to be Vlad's fiance so she can sleep in his room and thus gain free lodging. She slips her ring onto his finger.

Ch. 8: Eric arrives at the hospital and starts to rant, but Gina shushes him and storms out. He starts ranting again and Vlad wakes up. Eric runs after Gina.

Ch. 9: The toaster Eric dropkicked two chapters ago knocks out Rob Bluntz, a cult member with a pet Sacred Lobster. He's using the lobster to locate something or someone and it has brought him to Wheatsfield. When Rob falls, the lobster scuttles off.

Ch. 10: Eric finds Gina and convinces her to come with him to the factory in the morning. They spend the night at a stranger's house. (Not together - it's not that kind of story.)

Ch. 11: Vlad wakes up to find the lobster on his finger and discovers a mysterious ring (the one Gina slipped on him.) Vlad, the ring, and the lobster check out of the hospital.

Ch. 12: The whole team meets up, Vlad discovers that the ring came from Gina, and we learn two interesting things about the lobster- that Gina is irrationally freaked out by it and that it follows Vlad like a loyal puppy.

Ch. 13: The whole party enters the Imini complex and makes an appointment with Ti Wao Lin, a toaster developer Vlad knows of. He says something mysterious.

Ch. 14: One of my favorite chapters; the historic meeting with Master Lin. The party encounters the old man teaching a class, and then he speaks to each of them by name, tells them their coming was foretold, and asks them what their quest is. When Eric tells him, he informs them that he can forge the toaster if they can bring these pieces (remember them; they're imporant): the Golden Handle of Grace, the Iron Springs of Life, the Heating Element of the Eternal Flame, and the Casing of a Lost Soul. They agree to go on the quest.

Ch. 15: Gina and Eric go for Starbucks and she refuses to tell him about her past. He tells about his, but it's chronically boring. Just then, Rob arrives at the Starbucks and Gina flees through the back door, setting off the fire alarm and getting seperated from Eric.

Ch. 16: Hijinx occur with Rob and Vlad. They result in Rob discovering that Vlad has Gina's ring and the lobster, but getting neither; and the readers discovering that Rob is out to marry Gina (whose name is Annette) and that he wears an identical ring. This is a particularly funny chapter, if you don't mind my saying so.

Ch. 17: The mad hijinx involving the coffee shop continue. Gina goes looking for Eric, who went to the coffee shop looking for Vlad, who just finished talking to Rob, who's off looking for Gina. Vlad deduces that Eric is in love with GIna and gives the infamous cod analogy, before revealing that Rob is engaged to Gina.

Ch. 18: Everyone meets up, Gina reveals the truth: Her father is a cult leader, she ran away, and Rob (and the lobster) were sent to bring her home. They all meet up with Master Lin, as well as with Hank and Jeb. After Eric settles his score with the latter, the former reveals his gift to the travelers: The RIngo Harrison, a car assembled from two Beetles. So equipped, they set off.

Ch. 19: The party tries to decide where they might find these pieces, and Vlad tells a story. I'm not going to recap it, but I'll give you a link. The story will become important rather soon, but I'll recap it within the story.

Ch. 20: Gina tells her story, which explains some valuable background about the cult and about her. But it's really not that important at this point, except that they decide to go back to her home to retrieve the Bristol Ip or the Red Snake, which is most likely the Heating Element of the Eternal Flame.

Ch. 21: Not a whole lot happens. Questions are raised about the supernaturalness of the lobster.

Ch. 22: Bed Hijinx occur, introducing us to Vlad's pension for nocturnal opera and Eric's infatuation with Gina.

Ch. 23: They decide to stop in Indy for a night and come up with a bunch of crappy plans for stealing the artifact.

Ch. 24: Gina drops Eric and Vlad off at their respective homes, then goes to the gas station, where she runs into Rob and is then kidnapped by a mysterious man in her back seat.

Ch. 25: With help from Master Lin, Eric quits his job.

And this brings us halfway through the story so far. Tomorrow, the other half, and after that the continuation wil begin.