How Willy the Walrus Saved Christmas

Read this first. The sequel will certianly not be as good as the original.

It had been two uneventful years since Willy the Walrus had discovered the true meaning of Christmas, but Willy still loved Christmas and the Christmas spirit more than any other Walrus. One Christmas Eve, while he was leading the Walrus choir in a rendition of some Christmas Carols,
a man dressed all in black showed up.
"Hi man dressed all in black," said Willy, "Merry Christmas Eve."
"This the North Pole?" asked the man, who had a sniper rifle slung across his back.
"No, silly," said Willy, "This is eastern Siberia. The north pole is north of here."
"Thanks," said the man, and walked off.
"Willy!" said Wesley the Walrus, one of the basses in the walrus choir, "I think that man was an assassin. He was probably headed to the north pole to kill Santa. You have to go SAVE CHRISTMAS!"
And so he did. Willy walked for a long time following the tracks of the man in black, but people are just faster than walruses. He knew he'd never make it on his own. That was when he saw the eskimo from the last story.
"Eskimo! Will you help me get to the north pole and save Christmas?" asked Willy.
But the Eskimo still didn't speak Walrus or celebrate Christmas, so he lobbed his spear at Willy. Luckily, Willy dodged again. Willy noticed that Eskimo was not a politically correct term, and thought that perhaps that was why the Inuit man kept lobbing spears at him, so he tried another tactic.
"Inuit! Will you help me get to the north pole and save Christmas?" asked Willy.
At this, the man put down his spear and ran to Willy.
"Foolish Walrus!" he said, forgetting temporarily that he didn't speak the language, "Inuit refers to native peoples of Canada, northern Alaska, and Greenland! The native inhabitants of western Alaska, Russia, and Siberia are called Yupik and do not objeect to the term Eskimo, often using it to refer to ourselves!"
"I'm sorry, Eskimo," said Willy, "I didn't know."
"Well now you do."
"But can you help me get to the north pole and save Christmas?" asked Willy.
'But I don't celebrate Christmas, and I frequently hunt Walruses for food."
"Oh," said Willy, and moved on.
But the eskimo was moved by what was definitely not Christmas spirit but was nonetheless nice and decided to take Willy to the north pole on his dog sled.
At the North Pole, Willy thanked the Eskimo for the ride and got out. He was amazed by the beauty of Santa's workshop and the sight of so many happy elves.
"Happy Elves," he said, "Has a man in black come through here? I think he might be coming to kill Santa!"
"Oh no!" said the elves "He came through before you did!"
Willy wasted no time, moving as fast as he could to get to Santa. When he got there he saw the man in black take out the rifle and point it at Santa.
"NOOOOOOOO!" he yelled, but he couldn't make it there in time.
"Thank you Rufus," Santa said to the man as he put the rifle down, "This sniper rifle will make some little boy very happy. By delivering it to me in time, you've SAVED CHRISTMAS."
"Well, don't thank me," said Rufus, "This little Walrus told me how to get here."
"Well, little Walrus," said Santa, "You've SAVED CHRISTMAS too. Sort of."
And so Willy saved Christmas sort of. Or at least learned the true meaning of Christmas. Again. Or learned a valuable lesson about political correctness and the value of education, if nothing else. The End.