MDS Ch. 1 - A birthday party

(Posted two in a row, so please scroll down and read the intro first)

I suppose it has to come out sooner or later, but my least favorite part of telling this story is revealing that I used to be a princess. I won’t say the name of my kingdom here because I know how much of an embarrassment I am to them, but it was a small but prosperous kingdom in the lower Gribt, a successful agricultural nation. My mother, Queen Kathleen, was (and perhaps still is – I have not been back there so I can’t say) a strong, intense woman. She basically governed the kingdom, with the help of father’s advisors, while my father was out. He, King Mylton, was a lover of all kinds of sport. Falconry, Archery, Tournaments, Hunting, all kinds of entertainment. It kept him away from his other favorite thing – war, so his kingdom encouraged him.
Mylton always wanted a son to share the fun with (needless to say these were not proper activities for girls), so, though he tried not to show it, he was disappointed when I was born, and heartbroken when Ariadne was born two years later. He took out his frustrations by sporting even more, so life for us was mostly life with our mother.
From her we learned to be young ladies – to read and write, to play something (I picked up the lute. Don’t even ask me to play, you’ll wish you hadn’t), to knit- need I go on? Looking back, it was hardly a life. But at the time, I thought I had it pretty good. Though I was discouraged from mingling with the common folk, we did go into town occasionally go into town to spend our allowance on silly things in the shops. We got a stipend of gold a week, theoretically to learn how to handle money responsibly. This, I later learned, was ridiculous. No one in my family handled money responsibly. They were royalty.
But to my sweet 16. The guest list was exactly what I’d expect – not a name on it that didn’t began with Princess or Prince. It was mostly Princess, Mother had not yet began to introduce me to young men yet, and most princes did not bother themselves with girls’ parties. I knew dimly that this was all about to change, that at sixteen I would be a woman and marriageable, but I didn’t give it much thought. I was excited to see my “friends” and to be the center of attention. Extra fools would be hired to entertain, a fine feast would be served, we would ride horses and play games! I was as giddy as a schoolgirl.
There is one incident I must relate before we come to the day of the party that this chapter is ostensibly about. My mother, more as part of my ladyship training then out of respect for me, was making me come along to attend to every detail of planning the party. So she had me help come up with the guest list. We went through Princess this and Princess that until we came up with a good list, but there was one name missing: Jarrod.
Jarrod was, perhaps, my only real friend. He was the stable boy who took care of my pony, Precious. We had known each other since we were perhaps 9 and 11, respectively, exchanging friendly smiles and meaningless conversation as he helped me onto Precious or showed me how to brush her, to saddle and unsaddle her. One rainy day, while bored, I had snuck down to the stables to see Jarrod and spent most of the day with him, talking and playing. My parents were (or rather my mother was) sick with worry, and Mother forbade me to see him again. However, my father was in a jolly mood. (Jolly was one of his two moods. You’ll hear about the other one later.) He’d always liked Jarrod, the son of his favorite horse groomer, and said that I needed a friend around the kingdom and that I should be allowed to see him, as long as it was seen to that we both remembered our places. Mother, having been vetoed, rolled her eyes but went along.
I liked Jarrod, even fancied, as young girls do, that I loved him, because he was my link to the real world. He met real people and saw real places. He had adventures. He would bring me things I could never buy in the shops, because I was only allowed to visit the fanciest shops and, warned of my approach by trumpets, they put out for me a special store of fancy things.
So I told my mother I wanted Jerrod formally invited to my 16^th birthday party.
“Dearest,” she said, “We have a separate list for which servants will be working at the party. You can put that boy on that list.”
“NO!” I shouted, “I want him to be a guest! He’s a dear, close friend.”
“Maddy, dearest,” she said, patronizingly as always, “Think about this from his perspective. Will he really want to be a guest at a party full of his betters? Think what would happen if, taken by one of your beautiful friends and emboldened by his position as invited guest, he tried to make an advance on her. Your boy could lose his head for that. And think what people will say! And of course no one at the party will talk to him.”
She was right of course, and, being able to come up with no better course of action, I cried. I ran to Jarrod and told him all about it between sobs.
“Maddy,” he said, putting his hands on my shoulders and looking in my eyes, “Of course she’s right. But don’t feel so bad. I wouldn’t ever want to be royalty, one of those princes or knights, having to marry whoever was the richest, trapped in a castle like you. For me, this is a good life. And like Her Majesty said, I can still come to your party. Make sure you spend at least a little while at the stables. I’ve got a present for you.”
“What is it!?” I exclaimed, forgetting my former anguish.
“I’m not telling.”
“Give it to me now!”
“Then how will I ever get you to come see me at the stables?”
In this way he distracted me and made it all better. Jarrod had a knack for that. In any event, I did not find out anything about my present and, little by little, the day finally approached.

“Madz! Wake up! You’re 16!”
It was Ariadne, my little sister. Ria didn’t think much of sleeping and sruggled to do as little as possible. I was pleasantly surprised to roll over and see that it was actually light out.
“And you waited til I’d been 16 for a whole 4 hours to tell me?” I asked jokingly. “You’re slipping, Ria.”
“Think of it as my present to you.” She smiled one of those sickeningly adorable little kid smiles.
“If this is all I’m getting, I think I should get to sleep another two hours.”
“Two hours!?!” Ria whined, “But your party’s in, like, like –“
“14 hours?” I finished for her.
“Yeah, and we have so much to do!”
“You mean we have so much to watch servants do. Come back in another 4 hours, Ria.”
Ria folded her arms dramatically and sat down on my bed. A minute later she tried a different tactic.
“I bet if Jarrod were waking you up you’d get up.”
I rolled my eyes. “I bet if Jarrod were anywhere near my bedroom he’d be beheaded, especially now that I’m 16.”
Ria just smiled.
“What?”
Smile.
“What!?!”
“You’re 16!” she replied, as if this were completely revolutionary news.
Now it was my turn to smile, at my adorable little sister, who, I reasoned, was very likely not going to let me sleep. As the day wore on, I went through all the necessary and proper hostess steps. I did a final check of the RSVP list and a roll call of the servant list. I tasted the food. I inspected the decorations. I saved one errand for last, however, and I knew it. So when I finally said, “Well, mother, is there anything else we need to do?” it was she who would have to bring it up, to tell me to do it.
“Well,” she finally said, “Just nip down to the stables and make sure everything is in order for your guests there.”
“Yes, Ma’am,” I replied smugly, and made to run off.
“Madison!” She stopped me in my tracks.
“What must you check at the stables?”
I rolled my eyes and rattled off the list.
“See that they’re clean and presentable, see that the horses are rested and ready to be saddled, see that the staff know what to expect and how to handle any situations.”
“And…?”
I racked my brain searching for that last detail.
“See that stalls are prepared for visitors’ horses?” I tried.
“Don’t waste too much time with that boy.”
Of course. I, perhaps predictably, rolled my eyes again and took off. Hearing my mother’s call of “A lady never runs” I slowed to a dainty saunter.
I was wearing my favorite dress, a gorgeous yellow thing with little flowers and a neckline I considered to be just on the border of good taste. My hair was done up, but with a substantial amount of wavy blonde hair still coming down across my back and shoulders (like most of the princesses of the day, I had quite a bit of hair). Though I never considered myself beautiful, I was feeling quite pleased with my appearance on that special day. It wasn’t just that I was dressing up for the party, or even for Jarred (though I did enjoy thinking of him, and his possible reactions, as I prepared). Mainly, I was dressing up for myself. I was 16, an adult, and I wanted to feel like an adult.
I did get some reaction out of Jarrod when I stepped lightly into the stables. He looked me up and down, smiled, and said something like:
“Wow, you clean up nice, kid.”
“I could say the same thing about you,” I replied coyly, and it was true. Jarrod had washed his normally disheveled hair and put some kind of grease in it. He was wearing surprisingly clean and neat clothes, though his hide vest still had its ever-present stains. In fact…
“New shirt?” I asked.
“No big deal. The old one was getting ratty,” he replied, but I knew the truth. He had bought a new shirt for me, for the party. Granted it was a small enough thing, but I fancied at the time it meant much more.
"So…” I began. I was nervous, which was silly. Jarrod was a childhood friend – we had known each other for years and frequently (though not as much of late) spent time alone together. But today, dolled up as I was and feeling all of a sudden like an adult, and he in his new shirt, things felt different.
“So?” he asked.
“So, I’m supposed to make sure everything’s ready here. For the party.”
“Well,” he gestured at the room in general “I ain’t stoppin’ ya.”
I looked around and, of course, everything looked great. My specific mental checklist had long since slipped my mind, of course.
“It all looks good,” I said distractedly.
“Then I guess you’re done here.”
I refocused and looked at Jarrod, smiling.
“But I’m done everywhere else, too. I came here last. Can I have my present now?"
“You’ll get it at your party.”
“But right now we’re alone.”
Jarrod raised an eyebrow.
“What did you think I was getting you?” he asked rhetorically.
I said nothing, defenseless against his completely deserved implied jab.
“Game of cards?” he asked, producing a well-worn deck from his trouser pocket.
“I can’t sit down in here in this dress,” I said. “Let’s go inside.”
The card game came and went uneventfully, and finally the party began. I happily greeted my friends, and those girls who were not friends but courtesy demanded I invite. And so it came to be that I was sitting with my three closest friends, listening to a particularly bad bard sing a ballad about a girl who sold vegetables. It was less than compelling so we resorted to our standard form of self-entertainment – gossip.
“So Maddy,” asked Bri, a tough-looking brunette who had already been 16 for 6 months, “Did Opal RSVP? I noticed she isn’t here.”
Before I could answer, Horizon , a dark-skinned girl from one of the southern tribal kingdoms, cut in.
“I heard that Opal been kidnapped by one of them dragons!”
We all gasped except for Bri. We all knew that it was something that happened to princesses but, young as we all were, we didn’t really know the specifics. Bri, however, knew everything.
“I’d heard that too, Rizzy,” she said, “That’s why I asked Maddy. I wanted to hear it from the horse’s mouth.”
“Thanks a lot,” I said.
“You know how I meant it.”
We laughed.
“I got a note back from Opal’s mother. It was really very vague.”
“I hope she’s O.K.,” mumbled Jenny. Jenny was “the quiet one” in our little foursome. She was small and quite striking with her ringlets of red hair.
“Oh, she be fine,” said Rizzy, “You know that dragon stuff all politics these days. Don’t nobody ever get eaten.”
“I heard of a princess in Winnaemek who got eaten,” said Bri.
“Ain’t no such thing,” snapped Horizon.
I knew I had to act quickly defuse the situation.
“This bard is so lame,” I said to the girls, “Fancy a quick ride before dinner?”
“I thought were going riding in the evening,” said Jenny.
“Well, everybody is, but I thought we could sneak off just the four of us for a quick trot.”
“And so you can see your boy-toy?” asked Rizzy.
You’ve probably figured out by now that I had quite the schoolgirl crush on Jarrod, and that I, in typical teenage fashion, blurted it out to every girl I knew. They all thought I was a little crazy.
“How about we go talk to some of those yummy princes instead?” asked Bri, gesturing at a nearby table, “They must like you if they came to your party, and they look pretty hot. Plus they actually have, you know, prospects.”
“And they’re probably dreadfully dull! I’d rather go to the stables.”
“Maddy, when you gonna get real, girl?” asked Rizzy, “You and that stable boy ain’t gonna happen. Yo momma won’t let it.”
I was upset, but I let them talk me into talking to the princes. They were even duller than I’d expected. And then of course there was dinner, so it wasn’t until nearly sun down that I, with my entire party, made it to the stables.
Of course, surrounded by my friends and my mother, Jarrod didn’t act like anything more than a servant. But after the ride, as he offered his hand to help me off of Precious, he winked at me, and when I took it, he pressed into my hand something small and metal. I kept it closed in my hand. While we walked back to the main castle, and it wasn’t until I went into the washroom that I had a chance to examine my gift.
I don’t remember any of the lavish and extravagant gifts I got that night, but I’ll never forget the pewter pendant Jarrod pressed into my hand. It was the shape of a jumping horse and it was on a silver chain. I replaced the diamond necklace I was wearing with the horse-pendant, and didn’t take it off for some time after that.
That night, or perhaps even the next morning, technically, after all the guests had gone home, I was startled to see my father the king, with my mother by his side.
“Madison,” said King Mylton, obviously uncomfortable, “We need to have a talk.”
“O.K.,” I said, “Let’s talk.”
Father cleared his throat and looked at Mother uncertainly.
“Perhaps, we should sit down,” he said.
We sat.
“Maddy,” he began, “You’re getting older. Your body has been changing, you’ve been handling more challenging responsibilities- in short, you’re becoming a young woman. A couple of things are going to happen, and they might be scary.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. My mother had given me this talk three years ago. Was Father so oblivious that he didn’t even know?
“For one thing, boys, if they haven’t already, will start to take an interest in you. Be discerning. If they’re wealthy and have a lot to offer, those are the boys you should try to attract. Save everything you have to give, of course, but if you’re going to give it, give it to a wealthy boy.”
“Mylton!” said my mother.
“What your father is trying to say is that you need to start thinking about marriage, and that it’s just possible it will come in the form of a proposal. If that happens, we will support whomever you decide to be with, of course.”
“As long as he’s not a pauper or something,” Father cut in.
“Why did you say it’s just possible it’ll be a proposal?” I asked anxiously, “What else is there?”
There was an uncomfortable silence.
“A dragon, dear,” said my mother.
“A dragon!?” I asked incredulously.
“Tell her the story, dear,” said my mother.
“You see,” my father jumped in, “A long time ago, when the dragons first migrated to human lands, they captured and ate people at random. It was a terrible scary time and many people and dragons died. So sooner or later the dragons realized that by capturing one important person and asking for a ransom, they could get gold which they could use to buy all kinds of extravagant meat, which tasted much better than humans – lamb, lobster, whatever they desired. Princesses came to be the desired kidnappee – rich but largely defenseless, and always beloved by their kingdom.
So it went for a long while that dragons captured a princess whenever they needed gold and exhorted some poor King. Until one day, a great man named Sir John decided to put a stop to it. He trained and trained and researched all there was to know about dragons at the great library, and became a dragon-slayer. And the next time a dragon kidnapped a princess, Sir John killed the dragon, claimed it’s gold for the kingdom and returned the girl home safely. Of course the King rushed to get the two married, and that’s how the whole thing began.”
I stared at him, open-mouthed.
“What whole thing?”
“Well, the system. You see the way it works today is that some time after a princess’s 16^th birthday, a local dragon kidnaps her and leaves a calling card of some kind with his or her location. Then knights from around the kingdom try to rescue her. The dragon allows three rescue attempts before he (or she) eats the girl.”
I was about to cry.
“What!?”
“Oh, but you see if three knights fail, the girl’s father always pays the ransom, which is usually quite modest. The girl never gets eaten. Modern dragons don’t even like the taste of humans. They’d much rather have the cash.”
“Sometimes the more preservation-minded and wealthy knights just front the ransom themselves instead of actually slaying the dragon,” my mother pointed out, “But the end result is the same. Everyone gets a chance to win. The knights get a chance at a beautiful wife and a chunk of a kingdom, you get a strong, brave husband, we get you married off, and the dragon gets some cash if he survives the whole thing.”
“Wait, what if you have to pay the ransom? Then do I get to find a husband the normal way?”
"Well maybe,” said my father, “But not always. Your mother was captured three times before I finally managed to rescue her.”
“He paid the dragon off,” she said.
“I did not!”
I was mortified, astonished, and depressed. How had I not known about this system. I mean, I always heard when a princess got carried off but it was always a tense, dangerous situation.
“Why doesn’t everyone know? Is it a big secret?”
“It’s better for everyone this way,” said the king. “The dragons and knights all seem tougher to the common people. Makes life seem a little more exciting.”
I was unconvinced. And still terrified. Not to mention tired from an exhausting day.
“I’m going to bed,” I said, and left without waiting for a response. As I lay waiting for sleep to come I turned Jarrod’s pendant around in my hand.
‘He’ll rescue me,’ I thought, ‘If it ever comes to that.’